Drug Addiction: Drug Addiction Facts

Question: Can life ever be normal again after a drug addiction?

(Posted by: Jessa on 2009-03-07 16:49:35)

I've been with my girlfriend for 7 years. About 2 years ago she relapsed into a terrible drug addiction. I went to a male friend for help and ended up getting emotionally involved with him. I never kissed him or had sex or anything, I just became very needy and clingy with him because of my problems at home. My girlfriend and I decided to work on the issues and we got back together. Now, its like we have issues with truly forgiving each other. Whenever something new comes up, its like all the past hurts keep coming up along with it. Whenever I try to talk to her about my trust issues she brings up the fact I was a slut. This does nothing to reassure me that I can trust her again. She lied to me so much and did many bad things like stealing from me and my daughter when she was using drugs. Even my poor little Chihuahua went to a drug dealer. I was traumatized. I don't mean to justify my actions, but I was scared and heartbroken with what she did and I was only reacting. I was only using that man in order to feel safe. I'm not bisexual. I was married once but that was before I realized I was really a lesbian. I have lived my life as a lesbian ever since. And, I have been with my girlfriend for a long time. I don't jump from partner to partner. Believe me, I thought about leaving her forever but she promised me it was a huge mistake and she would change. She went to rehab and cleaned up, and begged me for another chance. I gave it, but life has never been the same again. I'm really sad.

Posted by: ♥Socially Awkward♥ on 2009-03-07, 16:53:35

You mean to tell me you took someone back who stole from your child to obtain drugs, and sold your dog for drugs. Pfftt...you get what you ask for. You're a MOTHER it's time to focus on your DAUGHTER and make sure she has a safe/ stable home to LIVE IN. Stop playing games when there is a child involved.

Posted by: loverofdragons21 on 2009-03-07, 16:54:03

Wow. dump her. shell do it again. she gave a way your freakin dog. what a selfish bitch. find someone much better. please don't waist all your energy on theis piece of shit.

Posted by: conker1127 on 2009-03-07, 16:54:39

Are you a bisexual. You have a girlfriend then you get involved with a male.

Posted by: nikki k on 2009-03-07, 17:01:10

If you know whats best for you, you would stay away from her even though how much you care for her, if sshe doesn't make you happy, and forgive you for what you've forgiven her for. she's not worth it. i mean think of it, she's done more stuff than you have done to her, and yet you still forgive her and have a relationship with her, does that sound right? she's gonna get close to you again, and just continue to do this, i would say leave her, and don't trust her. at all. if she really cared about you, she wouldn't steal from you in the first place.

Posted by: Katalia S on 2009-03-07, 17:03:48

Hunni u have a child please focus on her and on giving her a safe enviroment, she needs to grown up in a happy house hold not in the middle of drugs and only god knows what else might happen! leave her as fast as you can and please don't look back but if you do want to stay make sure she gets help, check her into a 90 day program in rehab or sumethin like that but please think about your child first! good luck hunni

Posted by: SUZE The Pink Lady on 2009-03-07, 17:06:40

You are soooooo not alone. You're not at fault. You're not "bad ". You need to get the tools together to deal with this situation and yes, there can be hope for a future, but you've got to help YOU first. Check these folks out and go from there. nalgap.org/ resources.htm

Posted by: Fi Fa Faom on 2009-03-07, 17:09:36

Are you nuts? she stole from you, your baby, and she sold the damn dog? I would never get back with that crazy crack ho.

Posted by: ingenuo2002 on 2009-03-07, 17:10:22

She has had trust issues since before, and is not about the drugs is about you and her, the way some of us are wire is very different than normal people, you should learn how to let go, because even then there were drugs involved but , she took stuff from you, she is playing the blame game, and she knows how to make you feel like dirt, you can justify her actions and she can go to as many drug rehabs but what she is missing you can not give it to her, you are not her mom, very sad because she is confuse, let her go or you go because you are going to end up being a mess and i'm sure you don't want that for your child. think about it. is that what you want? is that what you looking for ? is she the one for you are you willing to put up with her pettiness do you want your child to grow in such a dysfunctional environment?

Posted by: Tim2312 on 2009-03-07, 17:20:50

I don't see where you did anything wrong. You felt betrayed and you turned to a friend for comfort, this sounds like perfectly normal and healthy behavior. If you didn't cheat then she doesn't have any right to be angry, especially after what she did to you. The answer to the main question is Yes but it takes time and effort. She is going to have to prove to you that she can make it the distance and you are going to have to work to be able to trust her again. It seems like everyone these days thinks things either take longer than they should or should be an instant fix but this is one of those things where you just have to slowly work into a regular routine and eventually you will find that you are just as much in love and trusting as you ever were. Also DO NOT let her MAKE YOU feel guilty when you haven't done anything wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a friend and confidant with whom you are not romantically involved. Remember that she has to prove herself to you, not the other way around. She needs to feel all the hurt she has caused you and your daughter and she needs to be made to understand that it is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. You need to tell her how it is going to be and you need to be prepared to remove her from your life if she starts slipping. If you can't stand losing her again, don't get back involved because it could come to that.